Fleeting Thoughts and Struggling Commitments

Fleeting thoughts or I should say random good ideas that I make on the fly are kind of like a vice to me. It feels right for the moment, but it’s temporary. I can’t seem to stick to one idea and finish (which I talked about in scaling back). Some of my thoughts have to take a back seat because of circumstances. It is very frustrating. I haven’t been able to write as often because of my emotions, or I am too busy trying to chase after something else.

Because I don’t have any obligations and I am not in a romantic relationship I thought that I would try and go back to Australia. That was one of my life’s goals. I have been looking for a job and attempting to save some money but again life’s circumstances happen, and then I pretty much have to wait.

I wanted to finish The Chronicles of Phoenix, but I became depressed and frustrated that I couldn’t even work on it anymore, I stopped writing on my blog for a while as well.

Most of the time I feel like I have to do something. I have to start a business, go back to University, just something.

What I didn’t realize is that I am not grounded in anything.

I haven’t laid a foundation for myself. I am struggling with some things internally that keep me away from pursuing things that I want. I do want to go to Australia, but I feel as if it hard to accomplish that goal. I want to finish my stories, but again it is hard to achieve that goal.

I say that the problem is life circumstances but what if it is me?

I want to change this narrative.

I am almost finished with one of my favorite self-help books which are, Healing your past and Releasing your future, this book was very eye-opening and inspirational, but now I think instead of just using self-help books I want to do a therapy plan.

I usually do not like counseling, but I think it is time to go. Lately, I have wished I had someone to talk to about my problems, and I want to heal. I felt like I was working through my problems, but then so many things had happened, and I went back a step.
I feel lost and confused. I want clarity. So here is my plan of action:

Float Therapy:
Float Therapy works, I was thoroughly surprised by how I felt after Float therapy and I have been thinking about including it in a monthly regime. Float therapy is a great time to clear my mind and relax.

Counseling:
I have found a counselor who fits my needs, and I am excited about the process. I am glad that I can release some baggage that I have kept in or I have released in the wrong way.

Spirituality:
I want to have a deeper relationship with God. Lately, I have been conscious of how I act and what I say. I want to read more of the Bible and Pray more. I am upset when I don’t spend enough time with God. I have also been doing a new Bible Study in Romans.

Many of us have a lot of setbacks; it could be life’s circumstances or ourselves. But sometimes we need to have a change of perspective. Maybe you don’t know where your life is going and can’t make up your mind. I encourage you to take this journey with me to pursue serenity and creative freedom.

 

 

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Not Doing What I want

This year I decided that I was going to take me seriously. I began to blog and do my other projects but ever since I have been writing and focusing on projects I forgot an important component, love. What do I love to write about, what do I love to do. Me.

I had been researching about a Niche that I would like to write about and doing SEO research. I’ve dabbled in a lot of things which was fun but what about tending to what I love.

I searched for my solution by pausing and looking at the bigger picture. What can wait and what can change.

Since I want to make yet another change for my script I decided that writing a script can wait…or at least I can spend less time writing it. I want to finish it and I am going to finish it but right now it is time for me to focus on me.

Many things, stressors have been happening and I use being busy as an escape. My escape can only last for so long. So now I am going to take care or me.

The Anxiety Challenge:http://loveandmarriageblog.com/11-day-anxiety-challenge/

Other Posts:

Aspirations

How To Write a Story: The Process of Writing and Tips!

Patreon

How To Write A Story: Fin

After you edit the story publish it.
Let the world view what you have created. Some viewers will critic you writing and others will praise it. But before you listen to others form your own opinion. Your opinion is the most important one.

When you do listen to the comments, discern which ones are to help you with your next project from the comments that are negative. Take the comments that help and your thoughts and move on to the next project. Do not beat yourself up about what you could’ve done differently on this project. Move on.

As I come to a close, I would like to say that I hope that you have been inspired. I enjoy sharing my journey of self-expression. If you are a beginner in the world of writing, don’t give up and don’t compare yourself to others. You may feel like you have nothing to offer or other people are doing what you would like but better. Stop lying to yourself. You are an awesome, unique individual who has something to share. Continue to share regardless. Success or failure, You have something to share.

Let me know about the stories you plan to write!

Some Tools For You!

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AmazonBasics Classic Notebook – Ruled

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BIC Round Stic Xtra Life Ball Pen, Medium Point (1.0mm), Black, 36-Count

Patreon

Other Posts:

How To Write a Story: Going Through The Fire of Editing

How To Write a Story: The Process of Writing and Tips!

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Old Journal Entry!!!!!!!!!!!!

Right now I have a big project that I am working on for you all. I didn’t expect it to be as big of a blog post but it is what it is. I am currently editing that, coming up with some more interesting posts for you all and working on some projects. For now, I will leave you with a wonderful memory that I had.

Memory

Today was a wonderful day that the Lord has made indeed. Today I feel as if I had lived. First I had anthropology and felt the enlightenment of learning. I never had felt so delighted from learning about something since I was little and learned about the Chinese character for a cow. It was great I had a lot of a-ha moments and just enjoyed learning about what shaped and modeled our society.

 

Anyway, the most beautiful moment happened during yoga class this evening. Like any other yoga class, I started by laying down and closing my eyes giving myself some time to block out any worries from my mind.  After some warm-ups, the teacher leads us outside. Today I thought the sky and weather were perfect. We had gray clouds is some spots grayer than others. There was a spot where the clouds were clearing up and you can see some of the blue skies. At first, you can feel a little warmth from the sun. There were warm breezes that were very light yet heavy enough to move my hair. We started our outside poses with some warrior stances. We had to keep our focus out into the landscape. I decided to focus on that patch of blue sky.  When we moved from our warrior stances to poses that required us to look up north I saw the gray clouds. The sun was letting up giving the gray clouds a shine. It looked like something a very artistic photographer would have tried to capture. Our next poses were tree poses. For these poses, I had to ground myself firmly into the ground. I became one with the earth. When I finally lifted my foot off of the ground the yoga teacher told everyone to close their eyes. While my eyes were closed my senses were heightened. I felt how intimate the breeze was and the warmth of the sun.

Rant

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Most of these new movies are very upsetting. They are nothing but the same storylines or slow-motion action scenes that no one wants to see anymore. It is almost as if no one has the willpower to think outside the box.

I am sick of these manufactured messes with no striving for innovation. Nowadays it’s just pretty much cheap tricks.

I understand that people have bills to pay and mouths to feed but they have made their money and now it’s time to go ahead and take the risk.

Stop with the reboots and tired superhero movies with heroines that are too skinny and do something extraordinary.

On the other hand, movies such as The Shape of Water and Moonlight give me hope for some innovation.

Self-Care and Love (Beyond Pampering)

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Everyone wants to make videos and speak on self-care but what is it and what does it look like. Self- Care is more than just bubble baths, faces masks and detox water. Although self-care can include that, it is much more.

Self Care is making sure you are groomed even when you don’t want to shower. Cleanliness will make you feel better and you may even get a jolt of energy.

Self Care is taking time to reflect on what you did each day.  We don’t think about what we did during the day, what was accomplished or how we felt throughout the day. We don’t question why we’ve felt what we felt. I was guilty of journaling and not being conscious while I write. After I would journal, I still felt the same way I did before I journaled, but now that I reflect I feel much calmer. I also gain clarity and insight.

Self-Care is doing what is best for you. Sometimes, doing what is best for you is something that you may not want to do. You may have to read when you don’t want or to or break up with someone that you love.

Self-Care is knowing who you are. You have to realize that you are a better person than you think you are. Depression can make you feel like you aren’t resilient or a horrible person but that isn’t true. Don’t degrade yourself just forgive yourself and work on your issues. It is something that is hard and we tend to condemn ourselves but there isn’t any reason why you need to put yourself in hell. Let God be the judge and stop judging.

Self-Care is celebrating. Sometimes we don’t realize that we got a lot done in one day.  It is okay to pat yourself on the back because you deserve it.

Self-Care is not pressuring yourself. Be kind to you. Love yourself and be patient.  You are not supposed to be another person or a copy.

Self- Care is healing. Free yourself and live authenticly.

Self-Care products that I highly recommend:

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Kao MEGURISM Health Care Steam Warm Eye Mask,Made in Japan, Lavender Sage 14 Sheets

I like using the lavendar steam eye masks for the bags under my eyes or when I need to be still and calm down. The warm up very quickly and feel very soothing.

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Aura Cacia – Discover Essential Oils Kit (Packaging May Vary) | .25oz each of Lavender, Peppermint, Tea Tree and Eucalyptus

Aura Cacia is a brand of essential oils that I have used. I use these with their infuser but you can use any type of infuser with these or however else you want to use these. My favorite scents are Jasmine, Ylang Ylang, Patchouli and Bergamont.

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Earl Grey Creme Black Tea by Teavana
This is my favorite tea. It is very soothing to drink and great with milk and honey. It will pair well with a Bergamot essential oil and bubble bath.

For more blogs:https://www.patreon.com/fmaddox17

7 lessons that I’ve learned while writing my first official script

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A script is what makes the film. Many of the best movies have the best scripts and many great directors have written their own scripts. The script plays a major role; it’s imperative not to have one. As I finish up my own script, I want to share some of the knowledge that I’ve gained. This information is valuable to those who aspire to make a film but do not know where to start, those who are in the process of writing a script or someone who critics movies.

Here are 7 lessons I have learned while writing my script:

1. Read other scripts
-When I started writing in Celtx I felt overwhelmed. Even though I had read a various amount of scripts, I still had trouble with formatting and writing. After reading a few more scripts while I worked, I had more confidence while I wrote.

2. Scripts are blueprints for making a film.

– The script includes all of the details such as how the scene should look, feel, what the character is doing and dialogue. When there isn’t a script then a film goes downhill. The script keeps the organization and flow of the story. An example of a film without a completed script is, Myra Breckenridge. The film had many issues that inhibit its completion. The staff was confused about the direction the movie was going in and that issue caused a lot of fights. Not only is this film known for the feuds, but it is also known as a bad film.

Sidenote: I actually like the book and the movie.

3. Writing a script is a tedious process

– A script is (often) over 100 pages. Each page contains transitions, dialogue and descriptions of the scene which include the camera details as well as character details.

4. Changes will happen

-One of the challenges of writing is creating the story. In order for the story to progress, changes need to be made. Some scenes will need to be taken out because they add nothing to the story. Some details may need to be added in to help move the story along.

5. Writing a script can be therapeutic and fun

-As a writer, my inspiration comes from life experiences and dreams. When I use my life experiences to tell a story it is therapeutic; I can examine my feelings and pour out my emotions into something that it healthy. When I use my dreams, screenwriting can be fun because I can explore a new world and get into the mindset of a different character.

6. The opening scene is hard to write.

– There is a lot of pressure to write the opening scene because it needs to grab the attention of the viewers. Because writing the first scene is hard it is also difficult to write the first word! Even though I have 2 outlines finding the way to word the opening scene is still difficult. For my latest project, the opening found me. I stumbled across a song that perfectly summed up the feelings I had for the scene and I wrote it. Do not pressure yourself to write.

7. The Outline is the blueprint for your script

-The outline helps with writing the script, the more detailed your outline is the difficulty of writing it lessens. The outline is like a skeleton for the script and it helps you have an idea of how the story is going to flow.

 

Here’s a video I want you to watch:

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/fmaddox17