Why you should keep your purpose separated from your Career choices

The most detrimental choice that I made was chasing after purpose.   I  did not know what to do after high school. The high school I went to put a lot of pressure on going to college and making a career choice while I was a sophomore. I did not know what to do.  I started trying to look for my purpose as if I was gonna get all of the answers to questions like what I was good at and how I was going to be successful. All of the stress piled up and led to suicidal attempts, spending three days in the psych ward and then missing school.  The more I searched for my purpose, the less I felt fulfilled. I made my own purpose sometimes and tried to take control. I didn’t enjoy life at all and it was hard for me to build a foundation.  As I grew up my likes changed and what I thought I wanted I didn’t want anymore. It took me seeking God instead of my purpose to know that it isn’t for me to know right now. I have the choice of being happy if I didn’t hold myself to such high standards and accept who I was created to be. Instead of trying to be God let God do his job.

A career isn’t the sole reason why we live. It is beyond that. In our society, it feels like that is all we live for.


Comment down below if you have any advice or if you want to share your experience.

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Necessity Over Desire

Vivacious (1)I am bad with consistency especially when it comes to my walk with God. It is to be expected. I am human but it is hard to accept the mistakes I make or the feelings that influence my decisions. I was essentially forcing myself to keep up with some standards I made up in my mind.

I changed all of that. I was going to be serious about my relationship with God. God isn’t just a desire. God is a necessity; knowing more about him is important. The need to read His oxygen to survive. The need to spend time with The Lord is actual food for the soul. A relationship with God is a need.


I want to know what you think…

The must-haves from “How to Get and Keep Your Man”

Recently, I had the pleasure of reading the book “How to Get and Keep Your Man: My Top 20 Must-Haves Before Dating or Courtship” written by Queen Rasheeda Yasminah Maryam Muhammad. This book is a very interesting read and has a unique approach to relationships and courtship. ”How to Get and Keep Your Man” deals with looking for qualities in a spouse that give the relationship longevity. According to Psychology Today, about 75% of marriages end in divorce. In the article, it also states “marriage is a big commitment, but if you go into it with clear expectations and good communication skills, and having done your research about what makes a relationship work, your likelihood of staying married can be much higher than 50 percent.”  “Most people make poor decisions when comes to relationships,” says Queen Rasheeda; she presents the book with the intention of helping people make better decisions when courting.

“We focus on the physical, surface-based characteristics…[that] focus more attention on the things that give longevity [to the relationship],” states Rasheeda. In the book, many of the qualities that the author focuses on lifestyle, finances, and spiritual well-being. Most of the time we tend to focus on the more romantic aspects of a relationship rather than the simple and more practical qualities that help make the relationship last. The book encourages the reader to consider spiritual beliefs, long-term goals, and diet during the courtship process. It is very important to have someone that fits you and your lifestyle who can help you build your home. “Everything is an ecosystem…we can take lessons from the animals,” such as being in a mutually beneficial relationship. Each animal has a certain role that needs to be fulfilled in order to build and sustain that ecosystem.

To find the spouse that is right for you, the first step is to know yourself. Rasheeda puts it best when she says “you don’t know who you need to be with unless you know who you are.” Knowing yourself helps you find what qualities you need to look for in your partner. Some of the simple things we need to know about ourselves like what makes us mad, sad, or happy often get overlooked in the courtship process. Not only does the book encourage the reader to know themselves, but it also encourages the reader to have their responsibilities in order before asking someone else to have their responsibilities together. One example the book presents is for a spouse with good credit or is working towards good credit. You also must have good credit yourself before asking someone else to have good credit. It isn’t fair to set the bar high for the person who is potentially going to be your spouse when you yourself have not even set the bar within your own life. Another good point the book makes is you need to find someone who is taking steps towards healing, and essentially both of you need to be on the same spiritual path. I feel like that is the most important part of the relationship: to maintain and build up your “ecosystem” with your mate. You need to have a very deep connection that shares the same path (spiritually, mentally and physically). This connection is the way for the relationship to succeed.

The statement that the author makes, “keeping a man has a lot to do with making the right choices before you get him, and keeping it up after you get him in order to stay sane and have a long-lasting, happy and productive relationship,” sums up why it is important to have a clear idea of yourself, your needs in a relationship, and your partner’s needs. When your spouse and yourself have a clear idea of who each of you are and the goals that you both want to accomplish, this will be what makes the relationship long lasting and happy.

I encourage everyone to go pick up the book and give it a read. It opened my eyes and helped me see the business and spiritual side of being in a relationship. Not only does Rasheeda encourage you to write your own list but you can also share it with her on Queen Rasheeda.com.

Here is a Link to: How To Get and Keep Your Man on Amazon



Recently I read an article, “How Can You Meditate on God’s Word?” by Andy Rau. In the article, a part of the meditation process was to empathize with God. When I began to think about the desires and feelings that God has towards humanity; I see the Bible in a new perspective. Not only do I see the Bible in a new perspective, but I approach all of my relationships differently.
Now that I am learning about Empathy, I am more mindful of my thoughts and actions towards others. My relationships are more meaningful and fruitful. I learn more about myself and grow because of empathy.
Empathy for me is like the practice of saying Namaste in the beginning of Yoga class; the being inside of me recognizes the being inside of the people around me. The idea of empathy brings more depth and dimension to the Golden Rule: Love one another as you love yourself.
I encourage everyone to be mindful of empathy in their daily activities how minuscule it is.