The most detrimental choice that I made was chasing after purpose. I did not know what to do after high school. The high school I went to put a lot of pressure on going to college and making a career choice while I was a sophomore. I did not know what to do. I started trying to look for my purpose as if I was gonna get all of the answers to questions like what I was good at and how I was going to be successful. All of the stress piled up and led to suicidal attempts, spending three days in the psych ward and then missing school. The more I searched for my purpose, the less I felt fulfilled. I made my own purpose sometimes and tried to take control. I didn’t enjoy life at all and it was hard for me to build a foundation. As I grew up my likes changed and what I thought I wanted I didn’t want anymore. It took me seeking God instead of my purpose to know that it isn’t for me to know right now. I have the choice of being happy if I didn’t hold myself to such high standards and accept who I was created to be. Instead of trying to be God let God do his job.
A career isn’t the sole reason why we live. It is beyond that. In our society, it feels like that is all we live for.
Comment down below if you have any advice or if you want to share your experience.
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This time of the year is a very tough time for those of us with seasonal depression. Some of us (on top of having seasonal depression) also have depression or even bipolar depression. I have bipolar depression and it is a struggle to deal with. I am very sensitive, emotional and I am still learning about my triggers. Even though I have bipolar depression I do not see it as something negative.
For me having an emotional imbalance is motivation to incorporate healthy eating habits and exercise. Eating good foods and exercising makes me feel upbeat. Even on days where I am feeling blue, when I exercise I get lost in the moment. Eating a good meal afterward helps keep that upbeat feeling.
When I feel triggered, sad or any other feeling I see it as a reminder to journal. I use a journal to track my moods and it is a place where I can write down my thoughts in depth. With a journal, I can go back and see reoccurring battles (within my mind) that if I didn’t have a journal I wouldn’t have known about.
Bipolar Depression inspires me to pursue healing (spiritually and mentally) to do better in my life. I challenge myself every day to spend more time connecting to source. God is the way I have the strength to get through each day and bring in positive habits into life.
To those of you who have bipolar depression or any type of emotional imbalance, re-define that imbalance and don’t let it define you. Strive each day to bring in positive things into your life and don’t let negativity take up the space that is needed.