Fleeting thoughts or I should say random good ideas that I make on the fly are kind of like a vice to me. It feels right for the moment, but it’s temporary. I can’t seem to stick to one idea and finish (which I talked about in scaling back). Some of my thoughts have to take a back seat because of circumstances. It is very frustrating. I haven’t been able to write as often because of my emotions, or I am too busy trying to chase after something else.
Because I don’t have any obligations and I am not in a romantic relationship I thought that I would try and go back to Australia. That was one of my life’s goals. I have been looking for a job and attempting to save some money but again life’s circumstances happen, and then I pretty much have to wait.
I wanted to finish The Chronicles of Phoenix, but I became depressed and frustrated that I couldn’t even work on it anymore, I stopped writing on my blog for a while as well.
Most of the time I feel like I have to do something. I have to start a business, go back to University, just something.
What I didn’t realize is that I am not grounded in anything.
I haven’t laid a foundation for myself. I am struggling with some things internally that keep me away from pursuing things that I want. I do want to go to Australia, but I feel as if it hard to accomplish that goal. I want to finish my stories, but again it is hard to achieve that goal.
I say that the problem is life circumstances but what if it is me?
I want to change this narrative.
I am almost finished with one of my favorite self-help books which are, Healing your past and Releasing your future, this book was very eye-opening and inspirational, but now I think instead of just using self-help books I want to do a therapy plan.
I usually do not like counseling, but I think it is time to go. Lately, I have wished I had someone to talk to about my problems, and I want to heal. I felt like I was working through my problems, but then so many things had happened, and I went back a step.
I feel lost and confused. I want clarity. So here is my plan of action:
Float Therapy works, I was thoroughly surprised by how I felt after Float therapy and I have been thinking about including it in a monthly regime. Float therapy is a great time to clear my mind and relax.
I have found a counselor who fits my needs, and I am excited about the process. I am glad that I can release some baggage that I have kept in or I have released in the wrong way.
I want to have a deeper relationship with God. Lately, I have been conscious of how I act and what I say. I want to read more of the Bible and Pray more. I am upset when I don’t spend enough time with God. I have also been doing a new Bible Study in Romans.
Many of us have a lot of setbacks; it could be life’s circumstances or ourselves. But sometimes we need to have a change of perspective. Maybe you don’t know where your life is going and can’t make up your mind. I encourage you to take this journey with me to pursue serenity and creative freedom.