Somehow I got back to thinking about the meaningless stuff in life. I have not been reading my bible like I should (I need a new one btw cause this King James Version just is not cutting it. I have it sitting on the floor where I left it and for the record I usually do work on the floor).
It all started when I was thinking about my fasfa and possible refund options. Then it went from that to getting rich off of screen writing. That is mostly what I have focused on was being rich. I never been rich before but I would like to try it. I think I would be a good rich person.
Money has always been an issue and it is hard not to think about it while in college. It can be finding jobs that will take you away from actually doing your homework and keep you from sleep or worrying about that lump sum of tuition. Regardless money is always on the mind.
I want to be rich not for the fancy homes and regular stuff ( I do love travel by the way) but more for the things that I can buy with the money. I am wanting art supplies (which can vary from film equipment to your regular art brush ) and books mostly. I like good food as well. I mostly just want a good life.
One thing I must remember is that our God is a God of more than just materialistic blessings. God grants us the spirit of love and communication through different ways. God grants us the ability to think differently.
The thing that scares me is that most of the time I have been thinking about myself as the outcome and then letting others come second as far as any of my work is concerned. I am not doing anything just for myself or just to get rich. It is not about being rich but accomplishing a goal and that is to spread the same love that God shows for use whether it is through screenwriting or maybe even just sharing information.
I feel bad in a way because I have been very fleshly minded but I have to admit this week/ this month seems like it has been a long month. I’m scared for whatever is next for me in the months ahead. I really do not want to leave bible college because I do not want to cave in to a fleshly mind.
I would like to go to art college very badly though. I have many ideas and I want to focus on screenwriting and film in general. When I learn a new technique for art I would be so anxious to try it. What I do not understand would be how am I serving others. What am I doing. It seems so weird that someone who wanted to know if they had a call or not upon there life wants to go to art school.
I honestly do not know where to go and I want a break before I go anywhere unless God thinks that it is the right time to move on. Until I have something I guess I will be staying here.